Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
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Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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