Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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