Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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