THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I touched a dick in church today
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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