Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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