Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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