I could have mohawked her pubes.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
