Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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