I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
