Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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