finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
