I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
