she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
