Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
