Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just want nice things and good sex
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
