Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
3 2 1 whiskey
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
