so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
