He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
