I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Operation Purity has been aborted
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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