You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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