I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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