You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
