It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
