we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
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Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
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I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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