Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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