I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
