She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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