that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
