Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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