Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
