so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Say something about gay babies.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
