1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You're like the curious george of whores
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize