I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
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that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
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I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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