i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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