check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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