he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We're too hungover to prance.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
