I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
