There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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