U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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