at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
