I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize