if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
