He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
