i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
