I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
