Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
