Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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