GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
