3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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