Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
