i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
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I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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