can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
