Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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