my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
whose parrot is this?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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