then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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