i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
