one might say we're banned from that church
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
