stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
