oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
