Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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