i may or may not be watching the land before time
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
