Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
