I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
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the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
ok first of all what the fuck
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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