dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
